How to Make New Year's Resolutions That Stick

I make 'em, I break 'em. This year I'm doing it differently.

Photo by Thanh Tran on Unsplash

Happy (almost) new year!

Do you feel like me, that it is difficult to wrap your head around the numbers 2025? I mean, wasn’t it just 2020?

It is true that as we get older, the years go faster…I used to think that was because we have such a keen awareness of our mortality as we age, and we want to cling to as much time as we can. And while that is true, the notion of time passing more quickly is based on fact.

To sum it up, each unit of time represents a progressively smaller percentage of our lives.

Instead of wrestling with existentialism, which can, admittedly, get a bit heavy, let’s talk instead about a different, more common phenomenon relegated to the turning of another year: Resolutions.

Years ago, I made a resolution not to make any more new year’s resolutions because I realized that I was making the same ones repeatedly. Last year’s list became this year’s list. Soon enough, the message emerged, loud and clear: Stop making promises you can’t keep. Resolutions are like diets; if they really worked, why would the same ones be repeated year after year? And with that would come self-blame and guilt, feeling like I somehow failed.

But there’s this: Something about the approach of a new year doesn’t feel complete without some degree of reflection and a wish for a bit of redemption thrown in. I mean, new year, fresh start, look forward, not back, and all that.

I’ve come to realize that like the nose on your face, resolutions are there for a reason. They serve a purpose; they give us the feeling - and it might just be a feeling, not a reality, but so what? - that we have some sort of control over our lives.

This year, I won’t go all bah-humbug on resolutions, but instead, will exercise a variation on the resolution theme. Rather than attempting to create unrealistic changes for myself - after all, by now I am who I am, and how much can I truly expect to change? - I’ll keep what I already have but instead tweak them; do them more or do them less. Simple! I’ve coined this my Resolution Revolution. Here’s a small sample of mine:

Do More:

Yoga. In the past, I found yoga too slow and tedious. But these past few years have taught me a new appreciation for the form, and each time I take a class, I exit a much calmer, more centered person than when I entered. Yoga has huge health benefits, both physically and mentally. And here’s a top-rated yoga mat, so you have no excuses not to try some downward dogs- gotta start somewhere, right?

Smiling. I wouldn’t exactly call it RBF (resting bitch face; is that still a thing?), but I often catch a glimpse of myself and notice that my mouth is curving downward. A result of aging, maybe, or perhaps an outside glimpse of my inner feelings. But something miraculous happens once I smile: I instantly perk up. (This has been scientifically proven!) Especially nice is sharing that smile with a stranger. It usually feels good to them, and especially for you when you receive a smile back.

And while you’re at it, if your lips need some TLC, condition them while you sleep with this luxurious lip conditioner.

Napping. Like most of us, my energy dips at the same time every day (around 2PM). I know a few people (including my hubby) who are insistent and quite religious about their naps, rarely missing the opportunity for a 10 or 15-minute power snooze. On the occasion I give in to the urge, I’m amazed at how such a short time-out can refresh my body and my mind.

One tip I’ve incorporated from an interview I conducted with a sleep expert years ago: Take a caffeine nap. Drink a cup of coffee immediately before closing your eyes. It won’t interfere with your sleep, since caffeine takes a few minutes to set in. By the time you wake up, the caffeine will have taken effect, and your nap will have that much more power to it.

Wearing a silky sleep mask will help block out light and guarantee a better nap. I like this one from Blissy.

Do Less:

Avoiding the cold. I live in the northeast, and winters can be really cold. And I detest the cold. So what do I do when it’s cold outside? I stay inside. But then before I know it it is 4:00 and the sun is setting and I realize I never went outside and don’t even know what fresh air feels like. Note to self: This requires doing more planning, and probably signing up for more yoga classes, both of which will force me to get outside. A resolution win-win!

Trying for perfection. Many times it’s easier not to try than to try and fail - especially if you’re hard on yourself and tend toward perfection. [[[Ahem]]]. But then, if you don’t try at all, you haven’t gotten anywhere, have you? Try, without expectations, and let go of perfectionism. There is much more reward in this.

Writing the script. I know what you’re thinking…what you are going to say…what is going to happen tomorrow, or even next year. (What, you didn’t know I was psychic?). I call this “writing the script,” but what it really amounts to is self-sabotage, because by being convinced that something is a certain way, with no proof whatsoever, we are closing ourselves off from possibility. Perhaps we do it to create a sense of security and predictability, but what fun and how realistic is that, really? (See perfectionism, above.)

And so, as we exit 2024 and enter into a new year, let’s all hang on to - and be kind to - what is true to ourselves. Let’s embrace our differences, while working our best to do the most with what we have.

One More Thing:

Yo-Yo Ma takes a shovel to the old and brings in the new with a familiar tune.

I invite you to join me on my so-called Resolution Revolution, and i’d love to know how it works out for you. Please feel free to share how you plan on welcoming in a new year in the comments below!

And I’m not thinking you don’t want to subscribe; no I’m not. Instead, I’m leaving myself open to the possibility that you might. And if you do, here’s an easy way to do it:

Thanks for reading. Be well and be kind to yourself, and to others. Xo Sheryl